Conversations with Heaven and Earth: Healing the pain of disconnection
Let me help you heal the pain of disconnection
I have been conversing with Nature, animals, dolphins and whales, buildings all my life but I hadn’t connected with my true Soulmate, my beloved body.
It took a Near Death Experience to awaken to this truth and the process of deep Reconciliation.
My dance with cancer, beyond survival to thriving and connecting with my true soul partner
“I can’t be sick! I have a project to finish!”
“This was my mantra for many months in 2006, as my energy, health, appetite and good sense slipped away. I was operating from fear not love and faith.
Even my background as a Usui Reiki Master, Feng Shui/Gaiamancy Master, Theta Healer and traditionally trained Shaman, Interspecies Communicator didn’t prepare me for what was to come.
Where does the journey with ill health and the slippery slope of disease start?
In some ways I can tell you to the moment when the cancer took over my body and yet it was years of stress, that was the stepping-stones to a full body breakdown.
I had been working on a Green architectural design project , a sustainably built Industrial project. And was the owner, architectural designer, contractor and all around gopher.
This was the “other” hat I wore, in addition to teaching MultiCultural and traditional Feng shui, Gaiamancy, shamanic practices, running a green building school, teaching, consulting and coaching all over the US, Europe and Canada and beyond. Aughhh!
Needless to say I’m a type A personality.
When I finally collapsed, before the project was done, and a friend came to take me to the nearby clinic, I was unable to walk.
I was referred to a hematologist, once the clinic took blood samples, I knew that all my denial was not going to help me now. How could I be so disconnected??
That I am here to tell my story, is a miracle!
In June of 2006, I was diagnosed with stage 4 Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and given 6 to 8 weeks to live. An exploratory surgery found an inoperable tumor, the size of my fist, on my pancreas, many lymph nodes “involved” and cancer cells in a second bone marrow test, revealed stage 4 cancer.
That sealed the deal I proceeded to die.
And for good measure I was put on CHOP-R chemotherapy, prednisone, many other prescription medicines, shots for low white blood count, Neupogen and more chemicals than I can list. All these drugs, aside from Chemo itself, had intense and difficult side effects.
Months later, slipping away, at 85 lbs in my sister’s home, in a hospital bed with morphine patches and oxygen tubes and hospice care, I knew I was going to die. Not only the cancer killing my body but the chemo. was killing me, too.
Did I have a choice in all this?
As I drifted off, I knew that night I would die and leave my body.
I had been dreaming of myself, every night for weeks, and I was splitting into 2 separate people, walking down 2 forest paths, side by side.
And the paths had started to separate, veer in opposite directions, over the last few days. My body and soul were separating…
What I had to do in that moment was surrender, I had to learn to die. I had to choose to let go and die.
The next moment, I was surrounded, filled with bright Light and feeling no pain or fatigue. There was an immense Presence in front of me, within me, larger than the universe and yet very intimate and infinitely loving. This Presence said, “choice, and yes you always have choice”.
There was such peace, tranquility and I felt loved to my very core. I was love.
“Really ?” I responded, curious, but infinitely calm.
And in that moment realized I had a choice to go or stay in the physical and I was surprised to say the least!
“Really, stay”? I said, as I looked back down at my emaciated body, far below me.
The Presence spoke once again, “ask your body”.
So I turned once again and looked down, now at ceiling height, at the emaciated me, gray skinned, bald and shrunken and I asked my body,“ Well, what do you think?”
And was surprised when my body answered, “Yes, let’s give it a try”.
In that moment I became deeply aware of the need to release the
Illusion of Separation
I have been sharing and teaching this belief for the last 20 years through Interspecies Communication but really understood fully, in that moment!
At that timeless transition point, I made a choice to stay and be with my body. Closing my eyes, in spirit form, awareness grew that either I would move more deeply into the Light and Presence or wake up back in bed.
Well as you can see, unless I’m writing from Heaven, or the other side of the veils, I did wake up in bed.
I was given 3 mandates upon my return to fulfill.
- Help dissolve the illusion of Separation that has plagued humans for centuries and harmed our beloved Gaia and all her wonderful peoples our neighbors.
- Learn to Love humanity, as much as I Love Nature and animals
- Share the reality of choice. We have choice in every moment, no matter what the circumstances. That’s a core power.
I woke up peacefully, to the sun rising, shining with copper gold through the trees. I tried to sit up on the side of the bed but was too weak to get up. I croaked out to the baby monitor calling my sister’s name. I needed food!
I was ravenous! I hadn’t eaten anything except for a few spoonfuls for many months. While in the hospital, many times I had been warned i would be put on a feeding tube..
My sister came running in and I shared what had happened and we cried, knowing the import of this. We both knew I was going to be ok.
That night, I dreamt that I was One person, body and soul, once again, walking one forest path.
***A funny note. As I shared, I was unable to eat much at this point and found it extremely difficult if not impossible to put food into my mouth, let alone swallow. I prayed for help and asked my body for guidance. We had to eat to survive.
I soon became enthralled with cooking shows on TV! This really helped my body develop an appetite! I would salivate with the wonderful, inviting images of food. And my stomach would rumble. I started to feed my grateful and amazing body
This was straight from my body’s intelligence!”
Near Death Experiences
I’ve come to realize how common Near Death Experiences (NDE’s) are. They happen quietly, often unnoticed in hospital rooms, sickrooms and accident scenes across the Planet.
Sadly, they go unreported, as there is no protocol in our medical systems for these experiences, or in our Western understanding of life and death.
But that is changing, with the multitude of books coming out on the topic, to the public eye and heart and best seller lists!
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